Archive for July, 2009

What do I need a Funeral Director for?

July 16th, 2009

One night I am at home on call and the funeral home I work with contacts me and advises me that a gentleman is curious about cremation and  is waiting for a call back.   Quickly I grab my General Price List so that I my help this gentleman with his inquiry.   You see any time a funeral director is discussing prices for a particular funeral homes services and or merchandise they must take the charges directly from the funeral homes general price list.  When I get the  said gentleman on the phone he advised me that his mother was ill and he needs prices for a cheap cremation (his words not mine).  As I  was quoting the price for our funeral homes direct cremation fee, which is a limited service provided by the funeral home, the gentleman became rather ungentlemanly.  He said to me with a drunken stuper that his mom is old and dying and why can’t he just light the old hag on fire and stick her in a garbage can.  I calmly stated that no you can’t get her out of the convalescent home because you need a New York State Licensed Funeral Director who would be working under a funeral homes registration to take possession of her remains.  I also added that lighting her on fire is a criminal act and punishable by law.  My professional opinion was that he would be much better off using a crematory to do the actual cremation.   I predicted that he might scare his neighbors into calling the fire department as his mothers earthy shell is incinerated in his illegal pyre.  To conclude the conversation I added that if he chose to store his mothers ashes a garbage can well there is no law against that but he may want to get an urn instead.

to be continued…