July 16th, 2009
One night I am at home on call and the funeral home I work with contacts me and advises me that a gentleman is curious about cremation and is waiting for a call back. Quickly I grab my General Price List so that I my help this gentleman with his inquiry. You see any time a funeral director is discussing prices for a particular funeral homes services and or merchandise they must take the charges directly from the funeral homes general price list. When I get the said gentleman on the phone he advised me that his mother was ill and he needs prices for a cheap cremation (his words not mine). As I was quoting the price for our funeral homes direct cremation fee, which is a limited service provided by the funeral home, the gentleman became rather ungentlemanly. He said to me with a drunken stuper that his mom is old and dying and why can’t he just light the old hag on fire and stick her in a garbage can. I calmly stated that no you can’t get her out of the convalescent home because you need a New York State Licensed Funeral Director who would be working under a funeral homes registration to take possession of her remains. I also added that lighting her on fire is a criminal act and punishable by law. My professional opinion was that he would be much better off using a crematory to do the actual cremation. I predicted that he might scare his neighbors into calling the fire department as his mothers earthy shell is incinerated in his illegal pyre. To conclude the conversation I added that if he chose to store his mothers ashes a garbage can well there is no law against that but he may want to get an urn instead.
to be continued…